When morally bad. Changes in personal life - and not for the better

There are days when everything seems black and hopeless, when it hurts and it's hard. Few people, getting into such a situation, clearly know what to do when their hearts are bad. Everyone has their own recipes. Someone turns on sad music and revels in their grief, while someone seeks to unwind.

What to do when the soul is bad?

Finding and fixing the cause

Understand the reasons for your condition - a person does not feel bad just like that, without a reason. Everything has a reason, and your condition too, you just need to find them. How to do it? Some reasons are obvious, others are hidden in the depths of the soul and may not be clear or obvious. How to find hidden reasons? Immerse yourself in your state, try to strengthen it. This should be done very carefully and with what can help, for example, music that matches your mood. Develop thoughts that come to mind in this state, think about where they come from. Think about what images and associations this condition evokes in you, whether you have had it before.

Eliminate the cause of your condition. Yes, sometimes it is simply impossible - you cannot resurrect a loved one or correct any situation, but you can eliminate the cause of your condition, for example, imagine a dialogue with someone who is no longer there, with your offender or with yourself in the past. You can eliminate things that remind you of the traumatic situation - photos, gifts, things, maybe even smells. The fewer things that remind you of painful events, the easier it is to stop thinking about them.

Change will help

Change the environment - you can just go out for a walk, meet someone, go to a new place or leave the city altogether. By changing the environment around you, you will again be able to change the way of thinking and associations that the place in which you are evokes. Get distracted, get new impressions and emotions. Yes, even if you just decide to make repairs or rearrangement at home, there will be something to distract yourself with and where to apply your strength.

Work - do something tangible, something in which you will immediately see the result, it can be needlework, drawing, cooking, and even the same repair or rearrangement of furniture. Get yourself and your body active. Seeing that your strength is not wasted, but with benefit, you will feel much better.

We create a positive attitude

Give yourself a holiday - please your body or soul. Give yourself your favorite bubble bath, eat your favorite foods and especially sweets, change your hairstyle, or go from the movies to a good movie.

Think about your achievements - remember everything that you managed to achieve, what you are good at, maybe you have awards and just something that you can be proud of. It can even be trifles, the main thing is that they are useful and remind you of the good and what you can do. I learned to swim, I found the best green tea, I learned to understand car models, I met all my colleagues, etc. You can make yourself a list of your achievements and admire it when you feel sad. Lists of material acquisitions will also help.

New goals and achievements

Make a plan or just come up with a goal to which you will strive. It may be a desire or a dream, but it must be something that you can really do yourself. At the beginning, you can set small goals that will help achieve the global one. For example, the global goal of “losing 20 kilograms” can be divided into small ones: eat right, do exercises, run, do aerobics. It is useful to set deadlines, but they must be realistic. Do not drive yourself with impossible deadlines, it is better to take time with a margin and be proud of yourself if you completed the plan earlier.

Here are 7 steps that explain what to do when the soul is bad. Decide for yourself what is best for you and to what extent to follow each of them; whether to dive into your grief to look for reasons or immediately leave it and get rid of reminders. If your condition worsens for no apparent reason and you don’t feel like doing anything, contact a psychologist or a psychotherapist.

Do not forget that life is not one day. If it didn't work out today, tomorrow things will be different. Friends forgot to call - there will be time and you will not call. All the clouds that are gathering over our heads are all temporary. Difficulties must be overcome.

“It happens that wherever you look, everything is bad. Hands down, I don’t feel like doing anything, my heart is sad and, as luck would have it, my friends don’t call, there’s a blockage at work, and a nightmare on TV, the pictures taken by my beloved Sony DSC-TX55 disappeared without a trace on the PC. - writes the website growth.in.ua. And what to do when everything is bad? How to get out of this state when you feel bad? What to do?

We offer you a number of tips and we hope you find the answer for yourself, what to do when things are bad.

1. Think only positive things.

Remember, absolutely everyone can change their life. Only desire is needed. And to change your whole life you need to start with your own thoughts. If you constantly think about only bad things, it will come to you. You have heard many times the phrase that thoughts are material. What does this phrase mean?

2. Talk about good things

It is not enough just to think about the good, because the word is also material, and therefore it is necessary to talk about the good. With friends, at home, at work, say that life is getting better, everything is just fine. If acquaintances begin to discuss the topic in front of you: “where is this world heading”, do not support this discussion. After all, you know that everything will be fine, life is getting better every day.

3. Don't drink

Do not try to flood all the problems with alcohol. They will only add up. In addition, you will lose your health and a lot of money. The same goes for smoking. This is a direct path to permanent illness.

4. Go in for sports

You can advise to go in for sports: it gives positive emotions, health. It is not necessary to achieve records, just a regular run, swimming pool, morning exercises are enough. It not only invigorates the body, but also tempers the spirit. After that, you will not want to think about the bad, decide how to overcome depression.

5. Love

Love always changes life for the better. She brings a lot of positivity and happiness into our lives. This bright feeling turns our life upside down, inspires us to exploits, to achieve success. What can be depression if you love and are loved?

6. Give free rein to your emotions

It's not true that tears won't help me. Sometimes it is enough to cry when the soul feels bad to see life in a new light, to understand that it has not ended yet, that there are other interests in life.

Try to look at your situation impartially. Is she really that bad? Look around, how many people around you are much worse off. But they continue to live, rejoice, fight.

8. Communicate

When everything is really bad, you really want to withdraw into yourself, not to see anyone, not to communicate with anyone. This is the wrong way. On the contrary, be among people who can listen to you and relieve suffering.

9. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, start taking action

Stop feeling sorry for yourself: many are worse off than you. Get started. This is the only way to change the situation. Or start a new life.

10. Ask for help from loved ones

Feel free to ask family or friends for help. For any person, timely support is very important. It will help to solve a lot of life problems and find a way out of any situation, and especially when bad at heart (what to do?).

Stress, work, problems and other factors constantly affect a person. Therefore, sooner or later, he is faced with a feeling of exhaustion or fatigue, which manifests itself in the onset of a state of physical, psychological or moral fatigue. If, after an adequate respite, physical strength returns, then it is very difficult to restore psychological, and especially moral fatigue.

Description of the features of moral fatigue

Moral fatigue is a psychological characteristic that reflects the state of complete depression of a person, leading to the absence of any interests, unwillingness to live, unreasonable claims to oneself and biased self-esteem.

Danger moral fatigue It consists in a gradual psychological and neurotic disorder, leading already to physiological consequences, such as chronic depression, neurosis, psychosis, etc.

From a medical point of view, moral fatigue is a narrower and more specific aspect of psychological fatigue. It is influenced by factors that depress the moral component of the human psyche - these are:

  • regular humiliation from outside, for example, from parents, husband (wife);
  • beloved (th), children, underestimation of the authorities, social inequality;
  • actions committed earlier and not allowing to live in peace;
  • often, corny, overweight, can lead to a similar condition.

Various factors can develop moral fatigue in a person, both external, independent of him, and himself, through “moral self-blame”.

It should be clarified that there is no gender and age for this diagnosis. Strange as it may sound, a small child, for example, living in an incomplete family, can also get morally tired. Firstly, he understands that there is no one parent (father, mother) in his life and this is already a trauma. Secondly, mom or dad, who themselves are constantly tired, regularly drive evil on him. Thus, the child is subjected to moral oppression and destroys himself. There is a question why my father left me and what I am guilty of before my mother, or vice versa. Being in such a state and thoughts, the child himself destroys his personality, he becomes withdrawn, low self-esteem is developed with self-doubt, resentment against life appears, as a result of which, thirst and interest in it will disappear. And this is only the most primitive example, and there are millions of such situations.

The state of moral fatigue can arise from a simple act that a person has committed, and repents all his life, realizing that it is impossible to correct it, or he did not do it and regrets it. Such a heavy moral burden leads not only to psychological, but also to physiological consequences.

Signs of moral exhaustion

Psychological signs of moral fatigue are:

  • unwillingness to live;
  • lack of pleasure from previously joyful and familiar activities (the range can be different, from work, hobbies, cooking, sex, meeting friends to communicating with relatives, friends, children);
  • loss of interest in something;
  • chronic reluctance to do something against the background of loss of interest;
  • low biased self-esteem and constant claim to oneself;
  • "self-discipline";
  • life dissatisfaction.

Psychological and neurological symptoms are manifested in:

  • mood swings, irritability;
  • lack of sleep;
  • aggression;
  • unexpected rise in tone during a conversation;
  • tearfulness, depression, tantrums.

Physiological symptoms:

  • lack of appetite;
  • palpitations, tachycardia;
  • diarrhea, dizziness, weakness;
  • headache, decreased immunity.

Visual manifestations:

  • a person always has downcast eyes, which do not express any interest and desire for something;
  • stoop, shoulders also lowered, unsteady gait;
  • untidiness in appearance and clothes are complete bad taste.

The main difficulty lies in identifying moral fatigue in a person, diagnosing it. Often this problem is discovered quite late, because people have a tendency to hide their problems, and the symptoms are attributed to overwork and other factors.

Treatment of moral fatigue

Important! How to get rid of moral fatigue, there is no specific answer, since moral fatigue has purely individual causes and manifestations. Much depends on the psychotype of a person, the situation in which he finds himself, factors of environmental influence.

First of all, regular psychological self-therapy is necessary:

  • resolving external and internal conflicts as they arise, without accumulation, but it is better to avoid them;
  • after labor stress, try to relax;
  • periodic change of scenery - visits to excursions, recreational activities, travel;
  • playing sports, an exciting hobby that can distract;
  • communication with friends, relatives, the absence of increased requirements for oneself;
  • avoidance of excessive self-criticism, healthy good rest and sleep.

Additional factors can also worsen the state of moral fatigue: beriberi, which depletes the body and reduces immunity, insufficient and irregular nutrition, which leads to stress in the body, insomnia, leading to neurological disorders, loss of attention and memory.

Considering the fact of the influence of moral fatigue on the general state of human health, complex therapy is required to restore it.

Therefore, in the presence of appropriate symptoms, it is necessary to contact specialists - psychologists, neuropathologists, who will select medications to maintain the body and stabilize it.

  • three quality meals a day, to restore the exhaustion of the body. The use of certain foods: bananas, spinach, legumes, nuts, figs and garlic, containing vitamins and useful elements that can fight moral exhaustion, stimulate brain activity;
  • taking infusions of sedative herbs that stabilize the state of the nervous system. For example, for such purposes, a mixture of tinctures of motherwort, hawthorn, peony, valerian with the addition of the pharmaceutical agent Corvalol is suitable. All ingredients can be purchased ready-made pharmacies. Mixed in a glass container of tincture of 25 ml, respectively, and then with Corvalol, which is enough 15 ml. The hermetically obtained mixture is closed and stored in a dark place. As a rule, such a mixture is taken at bedtime, 1 tsp. diluted with cool boiled water. The maximum dosage is no more than 2 times a day.

Often, with moral fatigue, a person is forced to turn to specialists in the field of psychiatry, who directly select drug treatment, in the form of antidepressants and certain therapy, then a spa rehabilitation is prescribed.

Moral fatigue is a serious psychological and social problem that affects both the person himself and his environment. First of all, the tired person must himself realize that he needs to get out of this state. However, with proper therapy, there is a quick rehabilitation.

83171 06/01/1963 Chairman of the Rassvet collective farm, Mogilev Region, Kirill Orlovsky. Stolyarenko/RIA Novosti

In the summer of 1944, this man wrote a statement with a request, sending it personally to Stalin,

because the lower authorities did not even want to listen to him, answering not at all from callousness:

“You have already done everything you could. Rest."

This Man is a Hero Soviet Union, wrote to Stalin that he was morally bad, and asked for help.

How? Why they refused, you can understand from the text of the statement.

Be sure to read this statement, a copy of which was kept in the archives of the Central Committee of the Communist Party of Belarus, it was declassified and published quite recently. This “Top Secret” statement (such was the applicant’s status), written just three days after Minsk was liberated and never intended to be published, tells more about the person who wrote it, the country and the era. than whole volumes of books. It also says a lot about our time, although it was not intended for this at all. These days, it doesn't just seem unbelievable - it's amazing!

Moscow, the Kremlin, Comrade Stalin.

From the Hero of the Soviet Union

lieutenant colonel of state security

Orlovsky Kirill Prokofievich.

STATEMENT.

Dear Comrade Stalin!

Allow me to hold your attention for a few minutes, to express my thoughts, feelings and aspirations to you.

I was born in 1895 in the village. Myshkovichi of the Kirovsky district of the Mogilev region in the family of a middle peasant.

Until 1915 he worked and studied at his own agriculture, in the village of Myshkovichi.

From 1915 to 1918 he served in the tsarist army as a sapper platoon commander.

From 1918 to 1925 he worked in the rear of the German invaders, White Poles and White Lithuanians as a commander of partisan detachments and sabotage groups. At the same time, he fought for four months on the Western Front against the White Poles, for two months against the troops of General Yudenich, and for eight months he studied in Moscow at the 1st Moscow Infantry Command Course.

From 1925 to 1930 he studied in Moscow at the Komvuz of the peoples of the West.

From 1930 to 1936 he worked in the special group of the NKVD of the USSR for the selection and training of sabotage and partisan personnel in case of war with the Nazi invaders in Belarus.

In 1936, he worked on the construction of the Moscow-Volga Canal as the head of the construction site.

Throughout 1937 he was on a business trip in Spain, where he fought in the rear of the Nazi troops as the commander of a sabotage and partisan group.

1939-1940 he worked and studied at the Chkalovsky Agricultural Institute.

In 1941, he was on a special mission in Western China, from where, at his personal request, he was recalled and sent to the rear of the German invaders as the commander of a reconnaissance and sabotage group.

Thus, from 1918 to 1943, I was lucky to work for 8 years in the rear of the enemies of the USSR as a commander of partisan detachments and sabotage groups, illegally cross the front line and the state border more than 70 times, carry out government tasks, kill hundreds of notorious enemies of the Soviet Union, as in military as well as in peacetime. For this, the Government of the USSR awarded me two orders of Lenin, the Gold Star medal and the Order of the Red Banner of Labor. Member of the CPSU (b) since 1918. I don't have party memberships.

On the night of February 17, 1943, undercover intelligence brought me information that on February 17-43, Wilhelm Kube (General Commissar of Belarus), Friedrich Fens (Commissar of three regions of Belarus), Obergruppenführer Zacharius, 10 officers and 40-50 of their guards.

At that time, I had only 12 of my fighters with me, armed with one light machine gun, seven machine guns and three rifles. In the daytime in an open area, on the road, attacking the enemy was quite risky, but it was not in my nature to let a big fascist reptile pass. And so, even before dawn, I brought my fighters in white camouflage coats to the road itself, put them in a chain and camouflaged them in snow pits 20 meters from the road along which the enemy was supposed to pass.

Twelve hours in the snow pits, my comrades and I had to lie and patiently wait ...

At six o'clock in the evening, an enemy transport appeared from behind the hillock, and when the carts caught up with our chain, at my signal, our machine-gun fire was opened, as a result of which Friedrich Fens, 8 officers, Zacharius and more than 30 guards were killed.

My comrades calmly took away all the fascist weapons, documents, took off their best clothes and in an organized manner went into the forest, to their base.

There were no casualties on our side. In this battle, I was seriously wounded and shell-shocked, as a result of which my right arm was amputated up to the shoulder, 4 fingers on the left, and the auditory nerve was damaged by 50-60%. In the same place, in the forests of the Baranovichi region, I physically got stronger, and in August 1943 I was summoned to Moscow by radiogram.

Thanks to Comrade Merkulov, People's Commissar of State Security, and Comrade Sudoplatov, Head of the 4th Directorate, I live very well financially. Morally - bad.

The party of Lenin-Stalin brought me up to work hard for the benefit of my beloved Motherland; my physical disabilities (loss of arms and deafness) do not allow me to work at my previous job, but the question arises: did I give everything for the Motherland and the party of Lenin-Stalin?

To moral satisfaction, I am deeply convinced that I have enough physical strength, experience and knowledge in order to still be useful in peaceful labor.

Simultaneously with reconnaissance, sabotage and partisan work, I devoted possible time work on agricultural literature.

From 1930 to 1936, by the nature of my main job, I visited the collective farms of Belarus every day, thoroughly looked at this business and fell in love with it.

My stay at the Chkalovsky Agricultural Institute, as well as the Moscow Agricultural Exhibition, I used to the full in obtaining such a quantity of knowledge that the organization of an exemplary collective farm can provide.

If the Government of the USSR had released a loan in the amount of 2.175 thousand rubles in terms of goods and 125 thousand rubles in monetary terms, then in my homeland, in the village of Myshkovichi, Kirov District, Mogilev Region, on the Krasny Partisan collective farm, until 1950 I would have achieved the following indicators:

  1. From a hundred forage cows (in 1950) I can achieve a milk yield of at least eight thousand kilograms for each forage cow, at the same time I can increase the live weight of the dairy breeding farm every year, improve the exterior, and also increase the% fat content of milk.
  2. To sow not less than seventy hectares of flax and in 1950 to obtain not less than 20 centners of flax fiber from each hectare.
  3. Sow 160 hectares of grain crops (rye, oats, barley) and in 1950 get at least 60 centners per hectare, provided that even in June-July of this year there will be no rain. If it rains, then the harvest will not be 60 centners per hectare, but 70-80 centners.
  4. In 1950, collective farm forces will plant a fruit garden on a hundred hectares in accordance with all agrotechnical rules that agrotechnical science has developed.
  5. By 1948, three snow-retaining strips will be organized on the territory of the collective farm, on which at least 30,000 ornamental trees will be planted.
  6. By 1950 there will be at least a hundred families of bee farms.
  7. Until 1950, the following buildings will be built:

1) barn for M-P farm No. 1 - 810 sq. m;

2) barn for M-P farm No. 2 - 810 sq. m;

3) shed for young cattle No. 1 - 620 sq. m;

4) shed for young cattle No. 2 - 620 sq. m;

5) barn-stable for 40 horses - 800 sq. m;

6) granary for 950 tons of grain;

7) a canopy for storing agricultural machinery, inventory and mineral fertilizer- 950 sq. m;

8) a power plant, with a mill and a sawmill - 300 sq. m;

9) mechanical and carpentry workshops - 320 sq. m;

10) garage for 7 cars;

11) petrol storage for 100 tons of fuel and lubricants;

12) bakery - 75 sq. m;

13) bath - 98 sq. m;

14) a club with a radio installation for 400 people;

15) house for kindergarten- 180 sq. m;

16) barn for storing sheaves and straw, chaff - 750 sq. m;

17) Riga No. 2 - 750 sq. m;

18) storage for root crops - 180 sq. m;

19) storage for root crops No. 2 - 180 sq. m;

20) silo pits with brick lining of walls and bottom with a capacity of 450 cubic meters of silage;

21) storage for wintering bees - 130 sq. m;

22) by the efforts of the collective farmers and at the expense of the collective farmers, a village with 200 apartments will be built, each apartment will consist of 2 rooms, a kitchen, a latrine and a small shed for the collective farmer's livestock and poultry.

The settlement will be a type of well-maintained, cultural, immersed in fruit and ornamental trees settlement;

23) artesian wells - 6 pieces.

I must say that the gross income of the collective farm "Red Partizan" of the Kirov district of the Mogilev region in 1940 was only 167,000 rubles.

According to my calculations, the same collective farm in 1950 can achieve a gross income of at least 3,000,000 rubles.

Simultaneously with organizational and economic work, I will find time and leisure for raising the ideological and political level of my members of the collective farm to such an extent that it will make it possible to create strong party and Komsomol organizations on the collective farm from the most politically literate, cultured and devoted to the party of Lenin-Stalin people.

Before writing this statement to you and taking upon myself these obligations, I thought it over many times, having carefully weighed every step, every detail of this work, I came to the deep conviction that I would do the above work for the glory of our beloved Motherland, and that this economy would be demonstrative economy for the collective farmers of Belarus. Therefore, I ask for your instructions, Comrade Stalin, on sending me to this work and granting the loan I requested.

If you have any questions about this application, please call me for an explanation.

APPENDIX:

  1. Description of the collective farm "Red Partisan" of the Kirov district of the Mogilev region.
  2. Topographic map showing the location of the collective farm.
  3. Estimate of repaid loan.

Hero of the Soviet Union Lieutenant Colonel of State Security Orlovsky.

Moscow, Frunzenskaya embankment, house number 10a, apt. 46, tel. G–6–60–46”.

And the fighting was still going on near Slonim, Baranovichi, and the Wehrmacht was still full of strength. And in Berlin they discussed plans for a counterattack from East Prussia in the direction of Grodno-Minsk. Stalin granted the request of Kirill Orlovsky. He perfectly understood him, because he himself was the same.

He handed over to the state the apartment he had received in Moscow and left for the Belarusian village destroyed to the ground. Kirill Prokofievich fulfilled his obligations - his collective farm "Dawn" was the first collective farm in the USSR, which received millions of profits after the War.


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After 10 years, the name of the Chairman became known throughout Belarus, and then the USSR.

In 1958, Kirill Prokofievich Orlovsky was awarded the title of Hero of Socialist Labor with the Order of Lenin. For military and labor merits, he was awarded five Orders of Lenin, the Order of the Red Banner, and many medals. He was elected a deputy of the Supreme Soviet of the USSR of the third to seventh convocations.

In 1956-61. was a candidate member of the Central Committee of the CPSU. Kirill Prokofievich Orlovsky is the prototype of the protagonist of the film "The Chairman" and E. Hemingway's story "For Whom the Bell Tolls" - Robert Jordan. A bronze bust of the Hero of the Soviet Union and Hero of Socialist Labor was installed in his homeland and a museum was opened. The streets of several cities of Belarus are named after him. Several books have been written about him: "The Rebellious Heart", "The Tale of Kirill Orlovsky" and others.

And the collective farm began with the fact that almost all the peasants lived in dugouts.

Eyewitnesses describe as follows: “The bins in the yards of collective farmers were bursting with good. He rebuilt the village, paved the road to the district center and the village street, built a club, a ten-year school. There was not enough money - he took all his savings from the book - 200 thousand - and invested in the school. He paid scholarships to students, preparing a reserve of personnel.


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It immediately becomes clear what kind of people built the USSR - about the same as Orlovsky. There are no questions on whom Stalin relied on when building the country - it was on such people, and he gave such people every opportunity to prove themselves. The whole world saw the result - the USSR, which literally rose from the ashes twice, Victory, Space and much more, where only one would be enough to glorify the country in history. It also becomes clear what type of people worked in the Cheka and the NKVD.

If anyone did not understand from the text of the statement, I will emphasize: Kirill Orlovsky is a Chekist, a professional saboteur-“liquidator”, that is, it is precisely the “NKVD executioner” in the very literally the words. Yes, that's right - a year (1936) before volunteering for Spain, Kirill Prokofievich Orlovsky was the head of the section of the Gulag system on the construction of the Moscow-Volga canal.

Yes, that's right - often the chiefs and security officers were about the same People, although, of course, people, like everywhere else, came across different. If anyone does not remember, the great teacher Makarenko also worked in the Gulag system - he was the head of the colony, and then - the deputy head of the "children's Gulag" in Ukraine.

It is clear that then "all the best people"," all thinking people. Therefore, exclusively crushed slaves built and defended the country. Like Kirill Orlovsky. That is why the united forces of continental Europe under the leadership of Adolf Hitler could not cope with it.

It is clear that everyone, as one, then were "initiativeless gray slaves" in the days of the "administrative-command economy", where almost every nail was strictly regulated from the center. It only remains unclear how this collective farm was built according to the plan drawn up by the chairman, how specialists - agronomists, livestock specialists, etc., were specially trained under his order?

Everything immediately becomes clear what type of people took responsibility, and not by order, but personally, and raised the country from ruins in unprecedented time. It is clear that "only a private owner can be effective", "private initiative", "pursuit of profit" and " market economy able to create effectively” and stuff like that. It was not for nothing that cities, streets and factories were named after Stalin's managers.

About statements like: “Soviet people performed feats at gunpoint of detachments” - it’s probably not even worth mentioning.

The slander is the opinion that Kirill Orlovsky and his Falcons detachment, just like everyone else, fought SO for years surrounded by enemies solely out of fear.

So what were Orlovsky's motives: “Materially, I live very well. Morally bad?

And it was bad for him because he could not give, and not row to himself and consume. Just imagine: a person, a disabled person, of the first group - without both hands, who can hardly take care of himself, almost deaf. because it is able to work for people yet! But not to teach, for example, at the NKVD school, but again to do the almost impossible, at the limit of human strength - to build the best collective farm in the USSR from a village burned to the ground, populated mainly by widows, the elderly, the disabled and teenagers!

HONOR AND GLORY, AND THE HOWEST BOW TO KIRILL PROKOFIEVICH ORLOVSKY

AND TO ALL THE MOST WORTHY PEOPLE WHO RAISED A HUGE COUNTRY

LITERALLY FROM THE ASHES OF THE GREAT WAR!!

I am very emotional, and often in my head there are thoughts that everything is bad! My personal life is not going well, only the person I need appears, everything seems to be fine .... but then, as if the devil smelled of boasting, I lose him .. ..it starts disappearing, doesn’t call, it appears in a matter of 2-3 days. Then it pretends that damn I worked! how calmly you can relate to this, and I understand that a person doesn’t need it! I'm very lonely!!1

Psychologists Answers

Hello Evgeniya. From your letter, I realized that there is some kind of emotionality that bothers you, and also thoughts that are in no way connected with the positive. Thoughts of such a plan can interfere with being in harmony with oneself and the world around, and can also spoil life.

You Evgenia are talking about the fact that your personal life is not going well and at first, "in a way", everything is fine, and then something happens that you cannot explain. If I understood correctly, you write about some forces that interfere in your life. (Damn wagged his tail) .

And if you think about it: "What can really interfere with your relationship and what is the reason for the disappearance of a partner?" Perhaps there really is work and these are just fantasies about certain forces. And perhaps, if you believe in it, there is something that you yourself cannot cope with or understand why this is happening.

You can also ask this question: "How do you know you don't need it? What does it look like?" There seems to be something that diverges from words and actions. Sometimes it can work if it's in the system, something from the past.

Perhaps there is a close person, for example a man who often promised something and did not fulfill it, and you were very offended by him, felt lonely. And now, the situation is inexplicable. It would be good to identify the figure with whom exactly all these feelings are connected and forgive him in his soul.

Partnership is usually built in a certain image and likeness. For example, in the image of their family system or something works out of relationships with parents. It is better, of course, not to fantasize, because there may be more than one reason, to work in an individual and face-to-face format, if of course it is possible for you. I will be glad to help you!

I wish you inner harmony, peace and happy partnership!


Sincerely, Tatyana Kushnirenko, Orenburg

Good answer 2 bad answer 0

Evgenia, hello

Eugene wants to support you. From your letter, I heard that you are very concerned about how your relationship with men develops. It seems to you that something is not going well and is not working out, and this makes you very upset. You react emotionally and seem to generalize your reactions in relationships with men for life. You write "everything is bad!". Perhaps this emotional reactivity is what prevents you from analyzing and exploring your difficulties, trying to look at them "directly". In fact, relationships with men are not your whole life, but a part of your life, and there something is not happening the way you would like. At the same time, as I understand it, men appear in your life, and for some time everything seems to be fine, as you write ... Something wrong then starts to happen. It seems to me that it would be useful to investigate what is happening in your relationships with men and how it happens, what is your influence in these events.

You write that about the same thing happens every time... Sometimes in our life it happens that some events, relationships unfold as if according to the same plan. To help and overcome such a movement in a circle, it is important to know yourself well. After all, the forces that move us along the same road are inside. It seems to me that it is important here to understand how this is connected with you (after all, we are the central participants in the events of our lives), what role you play in everything that happens, how it is connected with your personal life history, parental family, etc. To free yourself from this role, It is important to know and be aware of yourself.

I would like to suggest some questions for you to think about. Maybe in the answers that will come to you, something will seem important to you, will respond to your soul.

Try to think: ... where do my relationships with men begin? what makes me think that this is the person I need when I enter into a relationship? ... How do these relationships develop, in what stages? With what feelings, goals do I enter into a relationship?... With what do you think your man... What do I expect from my partner, what does he want from me... When do I start to feel that he will "disappear"? What events precede his "disappearance"? What is the reason for his absence? How do you understand that "not needed"? Have you ever encountered this feeling of "uselessness".

The study of yourself and your relationship with life, with other people is, of course, not an easy task. inner work so you may need specialist help. You can always contact…

I wish you good luck, restore harmony in your soul, in relationships with yourself and the world

Best regards, Elena Tatankina

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